13 Needing Rules at All

I'm a very good rule-follower by nature and nurture. In my formative years, I went to a conservative college that had lots of rules. And I was happy to follow those rules; it was easy to know what was right and what was wrong, what to do and what not to do. 

(At least, according to the institution what is right/should do and what was wrong/shouldn't do.) 

Even now, as I have mellowed with age and learned the beauty of a "both/and life" (instead of everything being either/or), I still make an excellent Pharisee - one who is inclined to enforce the letter of the law than the spirit of it. 

But Kate and Jessica offer a different perspective. 

"Freedom and constraint. We hunger for both. A life of faith must have room for both." (p 75) 

I think this is another return to Chapter 1 and the discussion of the Regula and chapter 8 When Good Things Become Burdens. 

So maybe now's a good time to check in, almost 2 weeks (theoretically!) into our 40(ish) days of leaving behind the pursuit of perfection and, instead, seeking CONTENTMENT. 

Are you designing a regula that fits you? Something that is manageable but not a burden? 

Or have you started adding all sorts of things or pressure to yourself so that now this has become something you dread rather than something that gives you life and joy? 

Around the end of last year, I started journaling online using Penzu. I'm definitely an analog, paper person, but I never seemed to have a journal with me when I needed it. 

(I remember my preacher grandfather would always carry around a small spiral notebook with a pen in his shirt pocket, but women's fashion, unfortunately, does not lend itself to this habit.) 

But I do always have my phone with me. So when the urge/Spirit strikes, I can whip it out and type something. And Penzu will send me an email in the evening reminding me to write an entry, then send me another email in the morning congratulating me on making it another day and what kind of a streak I'm on. 

Both of these things were incredibly helpful ... until I started to let the need to keep that streak alive (follow the rules) matter so much that as I was falling asleep at night, I would open up an entry, type a few words, then close it again. 

I followed the letter of "the law" but fell far short of the spirit. The competitor in me loves to keep that streak alive - along with my Wordle streak too! - but I know I need to balance that with a sense of grace and honesty concerning how much good that almost-empty entry is really going to do for me and my regula. 

So, in case you need to begin again, make sure you read "A Prayer for This Time of Change" on page 77: " ... Forgive my little (often very fun) rebellions that deceive me into thinking they're for my good. And protect me in this tender time of change." 

Pastor Allison 

I'm curious: 

In the "A Good Enough Step" in this entry, Kate and Jessica talk about picking a "spiritual cue" to act as a reminder or a prompt for our regula (p 78). Do you have a cue in place already? How is it working for you? Do you need to create another one?