18 Hello, Goodbye

Kate and Jessica say that there are two simultaneous truths (p 104): 

1. When something changes, a world we love ends 
   
   
2. Change happens every day. 

And so we set about trying "to solve the sorrow inherent in change by giving it up entirely. Routines become a bulwark against the threat of pain" (p 104). 

I suppose we all sank a little deeper into our routines in the last couple of years during the pandemic. We probably found even more security and safety in routines when everything else felt so uncertain and uncontrollable. Routines we can manage. Routines make us feel like we're in control. 

And while that may be appropriate for certain seasons of our lives, holding closely to our routines so as to avoid suffering ("the order of nature") will ultimately squeeze out life itself (p. 104). 

Maybe this is part of the COVID-19 hangover/sluggishness a lot of us are feeling these days. Maybe the routines that served us well before are no longer serving us in the same way. Maybe it's time to find a new routine. But we're not sure how. And that makes us afraid. 

Using what we've been learning about in this book, maybe it's time to exchange our old routines to create a routine regula we can live with hands wide open and that allows space and room for the Spirit to move in a wild and uncontainable way instead of routines that leave us clenching our fists in fear. 

But there's something else we should consider too, Kate and Jessica say. 

Not every change is a bad thing; it's just a thing that happened. What made it good or bad depends on how we responded. 

How did you respond during the pandemic? How did you respond the last time you got bad news from the doctor? When the relationship with you loved one was broken? When you lost your job? 

"Did we become better or worse? Holier or crustier? Softer or quicker on the draw?" (p 105) 

We may have had to say goodbye to a lot of things in the last couple of years; but what have we said hello to in their place? 

"May you, dear one, find comfort from places and people you don't anticipate who remind you that you are not alone. You may be saying goodbye to something - someone dear ... but something new will be born. 

I cannot promise it will replace what was there, and I won't try to tell you it will always be better. But, I do believe that we can find beauty, meaning, and truth right where we stand" (pp 106-107). 

Pastor Allison 

I'm curious: 

Are you one of those people who gets stuck in their routines as a way to avoid the pain that sometimes comes from changing? How has this entry made you re-think that way of living? Might you be ready to CHANGE something - maybe something small - just to see how you might surprise yourself with your response? 

In their "A Good Enough Step" on page 108, they suggest finding a tiny notebook and creating a list of things you're saying goodbye to - honoring each thing for its importance to you and your life. Where is the "beauty, meaning, and truth" right where you're standing, even as you're saying goodbye? 

"Truth makes love possible; love makes truth bearable."  (Rowan Williams, A Ray of Darkness)