11 Happy Enough

Kate and Jessica remind us that we all live inside an "economy of desire" (p 63). We all (think we) want "Big Moments" (p 62) that will provide enough mountaintop experiences to last a lifetime. 

But here's the thing: if we only define our lives by "big moments," we'll constantly be left wanting more and working harder to make more moments and being even more disappointed when the big moments don't pan out. 

It can quickly turn into a mindset of scarcity. 

Fill in your own desire blank: 

I'll never be _____________ enough. 

Never good enough. 
Never perfect enough. 
Never thin enough. 
Never powerful enough. 
Never successful enough. 
Never smart enough, certain enough, safe enough. 

It's so simple to look at the people around you (in-person or through a screen), and lament all the places where you think you'll never be "________ enough." 

Perhaps in today's devotional we have reached the heart of what Kate and Jessica's book Good Enough is all about: leaving behind the pursuit of perfection and instead, seeking CONTENTMENT. 

They write, "Desire can feel like an endless hunger, but there is a feeling we get when we feel full: contentment" (p 62).

I appreciate Kate's story about her mom (pp 63-64) and the grand, old stained-glass window that wasn't nearly as stupendous as expected, but how her mom was "pleased as punch anyway because, hey, it was good enough" (p. 64). 

I suppose this ties in a bit with the reflection on "Mourning a Future Self" we talked about last week, but for today I want to think about what it means to be full. 

And satisfied. And to feel like the life I'm living is enough. 

It's definitely not the life I thought I'd be living (as I mentioned here), but I'm learning to pay closer attention to the "big moments" that happen in the quiet moments of my life. 

Like last night's impromptu dinner out with friends: by the time we were finished, my belly was full and my heart was content. There was nothing too remarkable about the gathering, and yet because of the people who gathered around that table and how much they mean to me, it felt incredibly remarkable. Unforgettable even. 

Yet it's something that's likely to happen again the next time someone messages the group to say they don't want to cook and does anyone else want to get something to eat?

And I know that when I reheat yesterday's dinner leftovers for today's lunch, I will remember that feeling of being satisfied and content. 

Blessed are you, they write, amid the ordinary details that define what life is for you, right now. And as you see them, greet them - each one - as you smile and call them by name. Everyday joys. Small pleasures. Birds chirping. Cat cuddles. A cold glass of water. A little child calling your name. The breeze on your cheeks. The ocean rhythm. The perfect pillow. The kindness of a friend. Loves that are and were and ever will be" (p 65, "A Blessing for the Life You Have"). 

Pastor Allison 

I'm curious: 

How would you fill in the "never ____________ enough" blank? Do Kate and Jessica say anything in this chapter that speaks to that desire? Can you imagine what contentment might feel like if you managed to let go of that standard or expectation you may never live up to? Why do you think you're still holding on to it? 

In the "A Good Enough Step," they write, "Whisper a prayer of gratitude for the best of life right now." What's the best of life right now for you? 

On page 67, they quote Thomas Merton saying, "Gratitude therefore takes nothing for granted, is never unresponsive, is constantly awakening to new wonder and to praise of the goodness of God." How much does gratitude play into contentment? Could focusing on gratitude be the first step for you to getting over the "never __________ enough" stumbling block? 

10 When You Are Exhausted

You'll never guess what just happened. 

I have had a long week full of wonderful, rich, meaningful conversations, which I LOVE! But it has left me exhausted. I feel like I'm almost out of words, which if you know me, you'd never expect to hear me, of all people, say. 

And in the midst of that, some things also happened that left me feeling bruised. 

Bruised and exhausted, I opened up Good Enough because it was time to write another reflection ... and there was the entry title: "When You Are Exhausted." 

And when my eyes landed on the line "And, eventually, something stirs and busies itself within me, doing some kind of mysterious interior repair. I become a little more myself" (p 56), my soul sighed. 

I'm still trying to figure out what the "mysterious interior repair is" exactly and how I might nurture and encourage its work - especially today. (There's probably something in my regula that could help, so that's where I'm starting. For review: check out this and this.) 

But what I think I most appreciate about today's reading is, "But here is the truth. You are in this - this chronic, unfixable condition called life - and yet at the same time, you are precious beyond rubies. You are worth protecting and preserving. You are meant to be intact" (p 58). 

So my work for the day is to figure out what kind of rest I need. 

And before you suggest taking a nap (which is part of the plan!), I've also read that there are different types of rest. I have no idea how scientific this is exactly, but I've experimented with some of these, and it worked for me.  

"I feel alone. The parenting. The endless to-dos. The juggling too much. The spread too thin. O God, I cry out to You from the ends of the earth: Show me again how this works -- how You bring dry bones to life. Help me." (p 59) 

Pastor Allison 

I'm curious 

From page 60: "God built rest into the very architecture of creation. Jesus even took a nap on the bow of a ship in the middle of a storm. 

"If God rests ... and Jesus rests, certainly we can too. ... What brings you rest?" 

9 The Foundation

" ... we are built on a foundation not our own" (p 51). 

Do you ever stop to think about all of the people who contributed to making you you? From your parents to your teachers to your coaches to the authors of the books that have shaped you and the writers of the music that soothes you? 

We are built on a foundation not our own: "With a divine mud pie, God shapes and molds us in God's likeness .... The Master Builder whose carefully poured foundation is what we build on top of now. It certainly feels like a template for the rest of our experience" (p 52). 

Instead of needing to claim our right (as Western American Christians) to be the architect of our own destiny, we can instead rest in the incredible relief and assurance that "Our only job is to build on what we've been given, and, even then, even our gifts we can trace back to the creativity, generosity, and foresight of others" (p 53). 

"If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants." - Sir Isaac Newton, letter to Robert Hooke (p 55) 

Pastor Allison 

I'm curious: 

From "A Good Enough Step" on p 55 ... 

Whose foundation are you standing on? (They include a list to get you thinking.) 

Take a minute to whisper a prayer of thanks for your foundation. Or, if you are able, send them a note of gratitude. 

8 When Good Things Become Burdens

Welp, here we are: week 2 and day 8 of 40(ish) days of learning about what a "good enough" life and faith look like. And I suppose it's not an accident that Kate and Jessica return to the place where we started: with a new reflection on the regula we are all hopefully building. 

I'm not sure I've ever considered the idea that good things could become burdens, but the example of Kate's friend Rachel who thought praying could only be authentic if she was on her knees is compelling (pp 45-46). 

Kate and Jessica conclude: "Our ideas become so rigid that they are held up over all other considerations. We adopted them thinking that they could help us live, but our rules can't anticipate every circumstance, or meet every rising need. They just aren't flexible enough, smart enough, or compassionate enough. After all, a rule can't see you, or know you, or respond to you"(p 46). 

When they put it that way, I completely understand! This explains the (biblical and modern-day) Pharisees and Sadducees in a nutshell! 

When they return to the idea of regula, they remind us that "The little habits we create with God's guidance will actually be made to fit us. Fit me. Fit you. The particular you, in this particular moment" (p 47). 

Their discussion about the idea of the yoke (which helps to carry burdens) that is made to fit over the neck of a farm animal in a way that fits only that particular animal reminds me of a sermon I heard at a colleague's ordination service. The preacher talked about how the stole that some pastors wear (like me) around their necks every Sunday is a representation of this same yoke, a reminder of our call to serve others in the way we have been shaped and designed to serve. In a way no one else has been shaped and designed to serve. 

I appreciate their reminder that we are called to create habits that fit us - instead of borrowing someone else's habits - and that "the point of spiritual practice is not simply carry more, try harder, do better. It fits. It's easy. As Jesus says, 'It's light, I swear'" (p 48).

(Also, the footnote at the bottom of the page is a delight!)

"But You say that Your yoke is gentle and easy. And if that is true, may I see these small habit as opening a space for transformation. That instead of building walls around me, You erase the barriers I've built around who You are and how I should respond" (p 49). 

Pastor Allison 

I'm curious: 

Check out the list of "excitedly absurd rules" they include on page 50. 

What are your favorite absurd rules or laws? 

Here's mine, one I need to be particularly aware of: It's illegal to wear a fake mustache in an Alabama Church. (Someone please tell me the story of how this law became necessary!! And if you don't know, please make up a story and drop it in the comments!!!)  

Read more absurd laws from around the world here! 

7 Asleep on the Job

Whoa. 

I'm used to hearing Jesus say, "Why are you so afraid?" That question alone is asked multiple times throughout the pages of Scripture by God in various ways to various people through various means. 

But when Jessica and Kate write, "Jesus might have said, instead, 'I thought you knew me,'" well, that just grabbed on to my heart and wouldn't let it go. 

It reminds me of the experience I had Wednesday night during our time of solitude and silence. We're in week 2 of gathering in the sanctuary Wednesdays from 5:30 - 6:30 p.m. and being silent together. (The sanctuary is plenty big enough to spread out and feel like you're alone!) 

I set up candles on the communion table to watch and to light, then add some papers for prayer requests, a guided reading for a Scripture passage, and a guided prayer to reflect back over the day. 

Last week, I picked this passage from Mark 8:22-29 ...  

They came to Bethsaida, and some people brought a blind man and begged Jesus to touch him. He took the blind man by the hand and led him outside the village. When he had spit on the man’s eyes and put his hands on him, Jesus asked, “Do you see anything?” He looked up and said, “I see people; they look like trees walking around.” Once more Jesus put his hands on the man’s eyes. Then his eyes were opened, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly. Jesus sent him home, saying, “Don’t even go into the village.” Jesus and his disciples went on to the villages around Caesarea Philippi. On the way he asked them, “Who do people say I am?” They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, one of the prophets.” 

“But what about you?” Jesus asked. “Who do you say I am?”

Then I added the questions: who is Jesus to you? What your relationship with him? If you could ask him to meet you in your deepest need, what would that look like? 

And I thought about how important it is to know the answer to that question, to know what images come to mind when we think of God, to be able to articulate the kind of relationship that we have with God. 

Kate and Jessica talk about all the things the disciples had seen Jesus do ... and yet, they were still "incredulous" when he appears to them post-resurrection (p 40). Are we too still incredulous? 

Seeing that we ourselves are reading this book in the season of Easter -- the weeks between Easter and Pentecost -- this seems like a question we should linger over longer: who do you say Jesus is? 

And then they ask: Why is it that we so often have "a picture of who we want God to be?" (p 41) And "how we want God to act?" (p 42) that may not match up with what we know of God? (We're getting dangerously close to idolatry again which we already talked about earlier here.) 

We worship a God who falls asleep during a storm. Who calls us to "love the stranger and foreigner and enemy. The one who leads us into chaos. The one who heals some but not all. ... And the one whose presence remains but whose absence is always before us in this broken world. We marvel at the God loves us and stays by our side, regardless of how little we understand or how often we wonder if our savior is asleep" (pp 41-42). 

There's a steadfastness in that that I love, like the "little way of love," that we talked about yesterday.

They don't try to answer the "why" of the questions we're asking; they simply accept that God is bigger than us and so much more than we can ever comprehend. 

"Oh God, comfortable would we be if You gave us formulas and answered prayers and realized hope. But You call us beyond comfort. ... May again and again we be awed by Your presence. That even when we feel like we've hit rock bottom, may we recognize we have fallen into Your arms because there is no place so deep or so dark or so scary that Your presence cannot reach." (p 43). 

Pastor Allison 

I'm curious: 

In the "A Good Enough Step" on page 44, they write: 

"Let is surface - that fear that is just below the surface, masquerading as frustration or irritability or tension. Let it come forward to your mind and sit with it awhile. Then put it into a prayer - something very specific and simple that says, "God, please take over all of this, just for today." Rest. 

Why don't you give that a try today?